The month of love
February is the month of love. It’s time to show the most important person in your life that you love them…
Are you your worst critic? How many times do you say to yourself, “I’m not good enough, not beautiful enough, not clever enough.”
Or do you give your love to yourself conditionally and in the future-tense? “Once I’ve lost that weight, become a better person, changed some old habits, then I will love myself.”
Stop putting yourself down now. Don’t wait until you make those changes you want to make. Don’t wait for someone else to tell you they love you. Start seeing that you are a wonderful person – just as you are – right now! YOU must understand that YOU are amazing!
Loving and accepting yourself as you are right now is key to improving and maintaining your sense of wellbeing.
Even if you’re hoping to make changes such as lose weight or break a negative habit, by accepting yourself as you are now the changes can be made in a loving, self-honouring and more permanent way rather than out of a sense of guilt or self-punishment.
Louise L. Hay is one of the founders of the self-help movement and her healing techniques and positive philosophy been a great source of inspiration and guidance for me personally. I often recommend her book “You Can Heal Your Life” to people looking to understand how to improve their health and wellbeing using the power of our thoughts. I particularly love the affirmation kit which comes with a CD I listen to almost every time I drive anywhere and inspiring affirmation cards which I hang up around my house and office to remind me how each thought I think impacts on my experiences. I find her method of explaining how to use affirmations very useful for helping the couples in my HypnoBirthing antenatal classes get to grips with this part of the course.
Louise explains how our beliefs and ideas about ourselves are often the cause of our emotional problems and physical maladies and how by loving ourselves (and creating more loving thoughts) we can create better life experiences. In the videos below she details step by step the process towards loving yourself.
- Stop all Criticism – Criticism never changes a thing. Refuse to criticize yourself. Accept yourself exactly as you are. Everybody changes. When you criticize yourself, your changes are negative. When you approve of yourself your changes are positive.
- Don’t Scare Yourself – Stop terrorizing yourself with your thoughts. Find a mental image that gives you pleasure and immediately switch your thoughts to pleasant one’s.
- Be Gentle, Kind and Patient – treat yourself with patience, gentleness and kindness. Treat yourself as you would someone whom you loved.
- Be Kind to Your Mind-Self – hatred is only hating your own thoughts. Gently change your thoughts to more loving ones.
- Praise Yourself – Criticism breaks down the inner spirit. Praise builds it. Tell yourself how well you are doing with everything.
- Support Yourself – Reach out to friends and allow them to help you. It is being strong to ask for help when you need it most.
- Be Loving to Your Negatives – Acknowledge that you created them to fulfill a need. Now you are finding new positive ways to fulfill those needs. Release the old patterns.
- Take Care of Your Body – Learn about nutrition. What does your body need to have the optimum energy and vitality? Learn about exercise. Cherish the temple you live in.
- Mirror Work – Look into your eyes often. Express the growing sense of love you feel for yourself. Forgive yourself for all as you look into the mirror. Once a day say “I love you” at yourself in the mirror.
- Do It Now – Don’t wait till you get well, lose weight or get a new job. Begin now, do the best you can.
Director of The Wellbeing Centre, Claire Bushell is a HypnoBirthing and BabyCalm practitioner offering antenatal and postnatal classes and workshops. She also facilitates a couple of peer-support groups that meet up monthly at The Wellbeing Centre – the Newbury NCT Homebirth Group and the Pandas support group for people suffering from postnatal depression.