How our Fears Affect our Fertility
If we are to believe the text books, we meet the partner of our dreams, dispose of the contraception, and bang – we’re having a baby before we know it. However life often doesn’t quite work that way.
When we decide to have a baby, a whole lot of fears can surface; the sort of fears that have quite happily lain hidden up to now because nothing is triggering them. It’s very easy to say “l’d love a baby one day”, but the reality of actually having one in the here and now and the changes that come about is rather different.
There’s nothing wrong with such fears, in fact they are quite normal. And having such fears doesn’t mean that you secretly don’t want a baby. We are complex intelligent beings; we are quite capable of being 100% in favour of a goal consciously, but still scared stiff.
The thing to note is that our body will protect ourselves from perceived danger and these mechanisms work from our emotional viewpoint rather than that of our conscious mental viewpoint. This means that if there is a lot of fear around having a baby, our body might decide that the best thing to do is not let us create baby in the first place. Simple!
This can be one of the reasons for infertility.
Examples of these kinds of stresses are things like, fearing we will turn into our mother/father and do the things to our children that we hated being done to us, even though we have every intention of being our own person. Or if we watched our parents struggling with bringing up children, we might have a deep seated belief that our life will be over as soon as our child comes into the world.
We may have fears around pregnancy. Women may fear the changes their bodies will go through. They may fear childbirth itself. Film and TV are particularly unhelpful in this by almost always portraying birthing mothers screaming in pain. Men may have fears around how their partners will change, or whether they’ll be able to support them.
If you are struggling to produce a baby, or if you have been diagnosed with fertility issues, there may be an emotional element. You may or may not be consciously aware of what the stress is but I can help you look at and clear this emotional cause. This can then free up our bodies to work as we’d like them to.